oh yeah.

I completely forgot to mention what happened the day after I had my first kid.

In the morning, I called the office.  The prior day we had gotten such an early start that when I called in, I hadn’t actually spoken with anyone.  My immediate boss was traveling on business, so I called my first boss – the VP of the division.  He wasn’t in yet, either, so I left him a voice mail.

Since I hadn’t yet spoken with anyone at the office, when I woke up the following morning (a little late), I decided to check in.  My boss was still traveling, so I called the VP’s extension.  Once again, I got his voice mail.  This time, I hung up and dialed my friend Mario’s extension.

Mario picked up the phone.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey!” he yelled into the phone.  “Congratulations!”

“Thanks,” I replied.  “It was a great day.”

We then talked for a bit about what it was like, and how the whole day transpired.  It was a great conversation, until I asked him where the VP was.

“Umm, he’s not around, I don’t think.”

It wasn’t likely to be true – the VP didn’t go anywhere without letting everyone in the building know where he was; even when he went out to lunch there was an announcement.  So I responded the way my mother always did when she was looking for more:

“What do you mean, he’s not around?”

“He left his office.  I don’t know where he went.”

“Do you know if he got my voice mail yesterday?” I asked.

“Umm, yeah.  He got it.”


“And you don’t want to know what he said.”

My stomach clenched.  I could feel the tension immediately rise up my back.  “Yes.  Yes, I do.  What did he say?”

Mario was quiet for a second.  Then he said “He said that in China, when women are ready to give birth, they walk over to a tree and have the baby.  Then they walk right back to the rice paddy ad start working again.”

It was my turn to be quiet.  “What the fuck does that mean?” I eventually sputtered.

“I think it means that he expected you back into the office after you had the baby.”

“Work was over by the time we had the baby,” I said.  “We were in labor all fucking day!  Plus, I told him I would be taking three days off.  I was actually hoping to take four, since I’m closing on my house tomorrow.”

“Look,” Mario began, “I’m just telling you what he told me.  I never would have even told you that, if you hadn’t asked.”

“Do you think he was serious?” I asked.

I heard Mario ask the assistant if she thought he was serious.  And I heard her respond “Oh, yeah, he was serious.”

“Tell him to go fuck himself,” I said.

“I’m not going to tell him that.”

I hung up the phone.  I was furious.

But I went into work that afternoon.

~ by Al on September 13, 2009.

One Response to “oh yeah.”

  1. This cannot end well.

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